random thoughts on getting old

i realized i'm getting old. my skin is starting to show freckles and sun spots. if i would judge from my mom's skin and the laws of genetic, i am on my way to becoming a dalmatian.

my skin is getting dry. i could write statements on my forearm with white mark scratches. the problem is i am not comfortable (i actually feel icky) with lotion.

everybody is getting obsessed with getting old. celebrities from tv are shooting up poison on their forehead to hide wrinkles.

i saw my ex super dooper crush (the only guy i really had a crush that was not based in celebral capability but by the simple fact that he is cute. aga muhlach in bagets cute). he is getting old as well. in a michael j. fox sort of way. the crinks are showing around the eyes and it is sad since he used to have really cute eyes.

pixie dust junkie

i've run out of supplies.
damn peter that horder.
thinking he is the only
one who deserves to fly.

there is scarcity
in neverland
the grown-ups are taking over
run for cover.

asswipe boy
you lost your marbles again.
rushing after fairies
and winding up in ships

the pirates are awaiting
to steal your precious dreams.
can't i just go back to bed now
and wake up
from this sleep.

so i will not forget...

"Many poets follow false paths,
but if the poet is with the people
to the bitter end,
like a conscience-
then nothingcan possibly overthrow poetry."

-Yevgeny Yevtushenko's Epistle for Neruda, 1973

sa pagitan ng kahapon at ngayon

may mga bagay na kailan
lang
nangyari
para tawaging alaala.
katulad ng ngiti niya
pinukol
sa hangin
habang nagpaalam.
sino ang magsasabi
na ang ngiti
ay tapos na
kung akong tinampulan
ay nakalutang pa sa hangin
dahil sa kanyang ngiti?

why Zoe?

Zoe is life in Greek
often used as mother of life
just like Eve.

Zoe is a monster.
the little niece of Oscar
the Grouch.

Zoe is a feminization
of Zooey, the sanest
of the Glass family
on JD Salinger's book.

Zoe is the defunct channel
of the Jesus is Lord Fellowship
before their leader
decided he'd rather be president.

Horror Helper

our maid is a major drama queen. every week she has another sob story. one after the other. it doesn't work on me though. i am not emphatic. actually i am extremely cynical.
but it does work on my mom. she has gone softer with age. i remember when she was younger, she wouldn't even lend her sister money for her niece's tuition. because as she said, it was my aunt's fault that she doesn't have money. she puts it this way "para kasing butiki, yumayakap sa dingding." somehow she make sense.
according to our maid her dad died yesterday. i don't know though. it's been the second death on her family since she has been with us. and she's been with us less that 2 months!
in between deaths, there were also unfortunate events a fight with a daughter in law, in which she unknowingly cursed the girl and her grandchild causing them not to be able to walk and having to go home to undo the curse then there was also her niece who she first said was a paragon of virtue with evil spawn for bosses that turns out to be the other way around.
Maybe she isn't really a drama queen after all. she is the spooky lady.
Her life is so morbid.

first entry....

bought a new notebook, here is my first entry.

- i am afraid of the blank sheet. tabula rasa phobia of some sort.
- for one thing i have a bad penmanship that ruin the cleanliness and prettiness of the page.
- i've read through my friends blogs on friendster. it's surprisinng to find who among them have depth.
- or maybe what i find as depth could only mean a lot of free time on their hands.
- or boring jobs with fast internet access.
- blogs are great. you can blab about anything nobody else really care about.
- i am writing all these inside the bus. obviously it isn't moving as you can see in my handwriting.
- the truth is i just bought this notebook and just want to know if the pen will glide on it.
- yes it does.
- i have given up on journals. am not the the type of person who can take responsibility in chronologically dissecting my everyday.