choking on memories

how your name
can command me
to choke on memories
of sundays
in bleachers
and long conversation
where i end up
remembering nothing.

i am gone
again
like a 17 year old
on crazy short skirt
buying attention
by showing skin
and
amazing boys
with
my book learnt
basketball.

your name
and i am lost
crazed
maimed
here on my chair
writing verses.

salsal

walang matula
walang madaldal
magkakasya sa pantasya
magsasalsal.

iisipin ang nakaraan
maghuhukay sa alaala
anong mahuhugot
sa aking memorya

o kaya nama'y titingin sa wala
sa mga naglipana, matutulala
saka magsusulat ng di totoo
maghahabi ng kuwento.

in memory of shuga

i will never see you again
your little face
that lights up
whenever i walk into the room.

one day you will be
just another distant memory
and your voice will no longer
be in my head
like ripples
will be gone

but until then
i agonize in pain
remembering your eyes
your small head against my arms
and your little kisses waking me
in mornings.

realization

i don't have a happy life.
i have a funny one.
funny...
in a tragic sort of way
like Woody Allen
movies.

ramblings...

peter pan,
can you please stop
hording
pixie dust.
hurry
i'm running out
of happy thoughts.

Ever After

do you believe in fairytales?

a prince to save the damsel

in distress

on a castle

sleeping for thousand of years

long locks for a knight

to climb upon

rescuing you from

the stairless tower

of despair

the quintessential mirror

who sees

the fairest of the land

and hoping it was you.

of frogs

turning to Romeo

on a love's first kiss

and glass shoe slips

equaling happy ever after.

Do you believe in

witches

and spiked apples

and evil, evil mothers

turning dreams to cinder

and snowqueens

and flakes of tears

causing everyone sorrow

for thousand of years

and big bad wolves

huffing and puffing

till you ran out of dreams

and strange men

with strange names

weaving your straws

to gold

but inflicting you pain

and gingerbread houses

made of dough and lies

and sweet temptation candy in store

i believe in the latter

and wished that a pea

could turn me to your princess

but i have always been

comfortable in futon.

things in the bathroom

johnson's baby lavender soap - to help you sleep
dove soap with gentle exfoliating
johnson's milk bath for gentle whitening
palmolive aromatherapy with rose scent when you feel a little kinky

johnson's shampoo with mild conditioners - no more tears
vaseline white shampoo - no more germs
palmolive natural shampoo - no more brittle hair
and pesky tangles

palmolive natural conditioner - to make wavy hair straight
sunsilk summer special conditioner -with UV protection
sunsilk conditioner - for damaged hair

colgate whitening, sensodyne, and oral b - most recommended

domex, lysol and apollo muriatic acid -most recommended again.
don't use fragrance cakes but oil burners with orange scented oil.